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Archive for the 'Energy work' Category

New Years, Journaling, and Resolutions

Sunday, January 3rd, 2010

I mark the new year (after the champagne and dancing) with a tour through my journal. From the loose-leaf odysseys of my pre-teen and teenage years (journals which I burned during college), I’ve graduated to a more efficient system. A date book for the day-to-day (a line or two to summarize the day, great for tracking astrological transits over the years). Another journal for dreams. And another one for the more lengthy musings.

An example of the date book I use is from One Spirit book club [link].

At the end of the year, I turn to the blank pages in the back and summarize the good things, the accomplishments. So when I go back to prior years, I go straight to those pages. I can’t always remember what year I visited Machu Picchu, or when I danced to David Byrne live, or when I saw Momix perform Baseball, or when I attended the Van Praagh/Weiss seminar. Since 2000, my chronology is strictly quantum.

Then there’s the resolutions. I choose one (one ring to rule them all). One part of my life to concentrate on. Some years are very workable – the year I resolved not to attend any social events that I didn’t want to was extremely successful. Another year I resolved not to give any unasked-for advice – another resolution I was able to keep. I especially like the year I resolved to “pull up my big girl panties and deal with it.” This year I’m taking advantage of technology – I’ve set my cell phone alarm to chime every afternoon, a reminder of my resolution this year – which is too personal to discuss, even in this forum, even with my therapist. And it’s not what you think, it’s beyond that.

Last year’s resolution was a question – what are you doing here, now?

Even if you are not connected, even if you don’t believe – you know that something is happening. And everyone who is here, now, was born to assist. It’s a privilege to be corporeal at this time.

Friday, January 1st, 2010

And now let us welcome the new year
Full of things that have never been.

-Rilke

Full moon, blue moon.

New year is the cleansing antidote to Christmas. After 2,000 years of spiritual baggage, decades (or generations) of family dynamics, and numbing social obligations, new year belongs to the individual. We move back into our own space, our own bodies, our adult perspective on the world. No wonder we feel like celebrating our freedom.

My date says while he appreciates the symbolic marking of time, nothing changes at midnight. “We’re going to wake up tomorrow with the same problems.” His focus is on the external forces, his disbelief in magical influences. He doesn’t want to be fooled by the champagne and noise and expensive food. Doesn’t even want to participate except as a social obligation.

But the new year is internal, it’s about renewed energy and belief in ourselves. It’s the feeling after confession, or a productive therapy session, or a week at a spa. The world isn’t different, we are.

I recently reconnected with a new year’s date from my college years. Back then we were too young to drink, too poor to pay for a dinner. So we showed up at 11 pm at the converted factory just to dance (sadly, it was the disco era, not much I can do about the soundtrack of this memory).

That night still rates as the best new year’s eve I ever had. Maybe because it was the first time I was out in the world as (almost) an adult. Maybe because he and I were in sync that night, there were no unanswered questions. And, at that stage of our lives, no real problems.

What surprised me is that, after all these years, he views that night the same way. After traveling the world, living in exotic locations, and many more relationships, he also remembers the night, what I wore, how it felt. And yes, there was an innocence then that can’t be recaptured, but I believe that it’s still possible to revive part of that feeling that there are better days ahead. And it’s not too late.

This is your night tonight, everything’s gonna be alright.

Energy connections, part 1

Friday, September 25th, 2009

Work was brutal this week. Concern trolls. Vague accusations. Responsibility without authority. Sucked into hoping that someone could learn, be better, only to be betrayed. Maybe the worst week of my working life, but not for anything identifiable, more for a feeling of – this is unacceptable. Is this really a connection I want to have now?

It’s been a bizarre two months. I’ve learned that people that I felt were in my life, didn’t feel the same. Lies and omissions. People who were important to me – well, I wasn’t important to them. It’s – a revelation. Someone actually moved away without saying goodbye. House empty. I’m not so much hurt by all this as dumbfounded. And then feeling naive about my relationships.

I step off the train, I’m walking down your street again,
And past your door, but you don’t live here any more
It’s years since you’ve been here
And now you’ve disappeared somewhere
Like outer space you’ve found some better place

I have a karmic friend, and he often uses this quote to sum up our 30 year long-distance friendship:

If I never saw you again
It wouldn’t make a difference
You didn’t say it wouldn’t matter
You said it wouldn’t make a difference

And did you know I understand the nuance?

Venus Trines at Midnight: Love Poems from Linda Goodman


More on all this later….