Archive for the 'Quotes' Category

Walk on Water

Saturday, September 12th, 2009

So today. Huge project that should have been done 6 months ago absolutely needs to be done today. Trying to stay out of emergency mode, stay centered, not let my brain undermine me -What is wrong with you, why didn’t you do it earlier, maybe you can’t do it, what if you do it wrong, maybe you can get an extension, let’s eat some pasta first…

The anxiety has taken over, I’m shaking and I can’t breathe.

This gives me the opportunity to try some of the tactics I’ve been studying.

Stay in the now - don’t beat yourself up for what you didn’t do, or worry about the outcome. One step at a time.

Visualize victory - ground yourself, close your eyes, and imagine the finish. Completely, not just visually. Tastes, sounds, smells, textures. I’m an auditory learner, imagining people congratulating/applauding me goes further than other symbols. For some people a reward works better.

Do it for yourself - Not because it’s being forced upon you. Not because life sucks and this is another example and another bad day. It’s something that’s blocking your energy - a clogged drain, weeds in your garden - and clearing it is going to feel great.

I am doing this…

I’ll check in tonight with my progress. In the meantime, one of my theme songs suits this day -

David Byrne - Walk on Water [you tube link]

Wake up - the house is shaking
Get up - the dead awaken
Let go - you know that you can
Get up - you sleepy babies
Hello - you naked ladies
Walk on - you know that you can

Look into the Eyeball


Friday, September 11th, 2009

Because there is no power without knowledge, and no knowledge without pain…

-Merlin, The Hollow Hills by Mary Stewart

Mary Stewart’s Merlin Trilogy

Tuesday, September 8th, 2009

Thanks to everyone who responded to the poem on September 5. Apparently I need to clarify something - the poem is not about my husband. It’s about someone who is, I believe, still in this world. Just underwater for now.

Saturday, September 5th, 2009

I was waiting for you to resurface
You sank into the waves years ago
In a self-sacrificing moment
But I believed that you would survive
I believed
I dreamed you were swimming toward the light
I reached out my hand to pull you to shore
I can’t
I can’t believe that you haven’t emerged

Monday, August 31st, 2009

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions.

- Rilke

Under the Ivy

Sunday, August 30th, 2009

I sit here in the thunder
The green on the grey
I feel it all around me
And it’s not easy for me
To give away a secret -
It’s not safe

Kate Bush, Hounds of Love

Working with this song right now, thought I’d share three interpretations from youtube. The first is the artist live.


Youtube: Under the Ivy - Kate Bush live

Youtube: Under the Ivy ballet

Youtube: Mourning Sons

Hounds of Love

How do people change

Tuesday, July 21st, 2009

How do people change?

Well it has something to do with God, so it’s not very nice. God splits the skin with a jagged thumbnail from throat to belly and then plunges a huge filthy hand in, he grabs hold of your bloody tubes and they slip to evade his grasp but he squeezes hard, he insists, he pulls and pulls till all your innards are yanked out and the pain! We can’t even talk about that. And then he stuffs them back, dirty, tangled and torn. It’s up to you to do the stitching.

Just mangled guts pretending.

That’s how people change.

Angels in America

Watching stars without you

Saturday, July 4th, 2009

I’ve always seen fireworks from the wrong perspective - standing above them, looking down. When I was a child, I lived in an Appalachian river valley, and to view the fireworks we drove up into the mountains. In my adult years, I’ve found myself in a number of situations - in a hotel room, looking down over the Delaware river fireworks, or in a private plane, flying over the Pennsylvania landscape, seeing fireworks simultaneously from a number of small towns. Only once, in Aspen, could I not get above them, and the three of us lay in the parking lot while the ashes rained down on us.

The dream was always running ahead of me. To catch up, to live for a moment in unison with it, that was the miracle.
-Anais Nin

Quantum memory

Wednesday, July 1st, 2009

And there’s someone in a tree —
— or the day is incomplete.
Without someone in a tree,
Nothing happened here.
I am hiding in a tree.
I’m a fragment of the day.
If I weren’t, who’s to say
Things would happen here the way
That they happened here?

I was there then.
I am here still.

It’s the fragment, not the day.
It’s the pebble, not the stream.
It’s the ripple, not the sea.
That is happening

-Sondheim, Pacific Overtures

Pacific Overtures (2004 Broadway Revival Cast)

Pacific Overtures (1976 Original Broadway Cast)

Body electric

Monday, June 29th, 2009

I sing the body electric
I glory in the glow of rebirth
Creating my own tomorrow
When I shall embody the earth

And I’ll look back on Venus
I’ll look back on Mars
And I’ll burn with the fire
Of 10 million stars
And in time
And in time
We will all be stars