Meditation Energy

I read my new year’s day rumination in a creative writing group. One of our best writers did not like my metaphor of a person carrying “2000 years of spiritual baggage.” An individual, she said, cannot carry 2000 years of baggage.

The rest of the group cracked up. You obviously don’t have any fundamentalist family/friends, they laughed.

CS Lewis: There are two kinds of people: those who say to God, “Thy will be done,” and those to whom God says, “All right, then, have it your way.”

I mark the new year (after the champagne and dancing) with a tour through my journal. From the loose-leaf odysseys of my pre-teen and teenage years (journals which I burned during college), I’ve graduated to a more efficient system. A date book for the day-to-day (a line or two to summarize the day, great for tracking astrological transits over the years). Another journal for dreams. And another one for the more lengthy musings.

An example of the date book I use is from One Spirit book club [link].

At the end of the year, I turn to the blank pages in the back and summarize the good things, the accomplishments. So when I go back to prior years, I go straight to those pages. I can’t always remember what year I visited Machu Picchu, or when I danced to David Byrne live, or when I saw Momix perform Baseball, or when I attended the Van Praagh/Weiss seminar. Since 2000, my chronology is strictly quantum.

Then there’s the resolutions. I choose one (one ring to rule them all). One part of my life to concentrate on. Some years are very workable – the year I resolved not to attend any social events that I didn’t want to was extremely successful. Another year I resolved not to give any unasked-for advice – another resolution I was able to keep. I especially like the year I resolved to “pull up my big girl panties and deal with it.” This year I’m taking advantage of technology – I’ve set my cell phone alarm to chime every afternoon, a reminder of my resolution this year – which is too personal to discuss, even in this forum, even with my therapist. And it’s not what you think, it’s beyond that.

Last year’s resolution was a question – what are you doing here, now?

Even if you are not connected, even if you don’t believe – you know that something is happening. And everyone who is here, now, was born to assist. It’s a privilege to be corporeal at this time.

Wearing your aspirations. Secretly.

Bracelet, inscribed inside: “And she lived happily ever after…”

I’ve given this as a wedding gift for the bride (not that I’m into weddings, I truly hate them, always have. But fairy tales are fun.)

http://www.findgift.com/gift-ideas/pid-117309/

First Photograph of Lightning

George Eastman House link

A combination of history, technology, and art.

Work was brutal this week. Concern trolls. Vague accusations. Responsibility without authority. Sucked into hoping that someone could learn, be better, only to be betrayed. Maybe the worst week of my working life, but not for anything identifiable, more for a feeling of – this is unacceptable. Is this really a connection I want to have now?

It’s been a bizarre two months. I’ve learned that people that I felt were in my life, didn’t feel the same. Lies and omissions. People who were important to me – well, I wasn’t important to them. It’s – a revelation. Someone actually moved away without saying goodbye. House empty. I’m not so much hurt by all this as dumbfounded. And then feeling naive about my relationships.

I step off the train, I’m walking down your street again,
And past your door, but you don’t live here any more
It’s years since you’ve been here
And now you’ve disappeared somewhere
Like outer space you’ve found some better place

I have a karmic friend, and he often uses this quote to sum up our 30 year long-distance friendship:

If I never saw you again
It wouldn’t make a difference
You didn’t say it wouldn’t matter
You said it wouldn’t make a difference

And did you know I understand the nuance?

Venus Trines at Midnight: Love Poems from Linda Goodman

More on all this later….

I remember when Last of the Mohicans came out. Or rather, when I rented it on video. Two feet of snow that weekend prevented me from returning the video, or doing anything else but shoveling and watching it over and over with the same primal impulse. It rates as one of the best romantic scenes ever - because they say nothing. No words. As a writer, I admire that.

For awhile, I amused myself at cocktail parties by asking women how they felt about the movie. Many of them had discussed it in depth with their therapists. The personification of the perfect man. Action/spirituality.

You are the one that you’ve been waiting for…

I’d like to recommend a substitute for the 21st century. The man who has emerged from hell, action/spirituality for our era. I’m in mourning for the series, but it was perfect while it lasted - which is all that we get.

Life: Season One

Life: Season Two

The Last of the Mohicans (Director’s Expanded Edition)

Yesterday was a success. I accomplished the worst part of the project by mid-afternoon and had enough energy left over to prepare for today’s event (we’re selling jewelry at a street fair - which was why the other project had to be done yesterday).

So let’s build on it….when I took energy classes (more on that later), the instructor explained how to create the energy for success in a future event. How when he didn’t bother with it, fewer people registered for the class. I’ve never bothered with it before these shows, see if it makes a difference today.

One note on yesterday - I watched The Happening for the first time while I was gathering the info for this project, which offered a weird perspective. At least I’m not being targeted by plants.

The Happening

Last fall, I lost a significant amount of weight, almost effortlessly. A tweak here and there in my food intake, more cardio, and voila. Unfortunately, right after that, stress descended in the form of my micromanaging boss. Because she has no other management skills, she went into emergency mode, decided to manage our time, moment by moment. (I blame myself, in an moment of what I thought was extreme exaggeration, I told someone she would never be happy until she reviewed our to-do lists every day, put the list into the order that she wanted, and had us submit our accomplishments at the end of the day. Welcome to the 5th dimension.) I am a manager, but I have absolutely no authority or control over my day. My stress-cortisol skyrocketed, along with my weight, back up to where it was. I refer to it (fondly?) as my Casey-weight, named after her.

On top of that, her guilt caused her to constantly bring food into the office and force it on us. Bagels, pancakes, cookies, cakes. And to make myself feel better, I was running next door for a latte every day, I needed the comfort of cream and the motivation of caffeine.

I’ve spent the last year complaining to my therapist – how do I keep her from derailing me, day after day? That’s a discussion for another day, but let’s narrow it down to my health, my weight, or more accurately, my stress.

A month ago I entered into a health contest with a friend, with a significant reward/penalty (deadline December 1). I tweaked my diet, increased my time at the health club – and nothing. Not this time. I’m perplexed, like someone who’s pressing an elevator button with no response.

Maybe this time I have to take the stairs.

I’m going to test out some things that I’ve been reading, about affirmations, law of attraction, and creative visualization. Here we go.

Planning for this year’s Mind Body Spirit expo [link], a lot of discussion about the major attraction – Van Praagh [link]. I’ll be blogging the expo but will probably not attend the Van Praagh event, only because I already attended his joint session with Brian Weiss [link] sponsored by Omega [link].

That session, in NYC, was a great deal of fun. Colleagues of mine (including my cancer surgeon) have attended the Van Praagh/Weiss cruises (out of my price range, I’m afraid). Van Praagh and Weiss don’t take themselves too seriously, there’s a matter-of-factness from them that I’ve experienced in the better healers/mediums that I’ve encountered. No big deal. Nothing mysterious. Just energy and concentration. You could do it yourself if you wanted to (but you don’t have to). Weiss is dry, professorial, Van Praagh is easy-going and does a wicked (but fond) Weiss impersonation.

I’ll blog about the Weiss session later. Van Praagh, besides picking up messages for various audience members, led us through a psychic exercise. Pairing up with a stranger, we give them a personal object and see what they can read from it. The woman seated behind me gave me a nondescript ring (not wedding or engagement), and I felt something like a sisterhood, a sorority, and educational. Turns out she was a Catholic nun who taught in a women’s college.

I handed her my opal earring – one of my last anniversary gifts from my late husband. She got a male presence with an urgent message for me – We’re still connected.

So I’m not attending Van Praagh this year – others deserve their chance. I got the message.

Unfinished Business: What the Dead Can Teach Us About Life

Ghosts Among Us: Uncovering the Truth About the Other Side

Talking to Heaven: A Medium’s Message of Life After Death

Heaven and Earth: Making the Psychic Connection

Reaching to Heaven

Meditations with James Van Praagh

Healing Grief: Reclaiming Life After Any Loss

Sometimes when you ground yourself, you can change the energy in a room. You can ground your house, your car, your office. Before I leave for work, I ground the room where my dog stays. One of my favorite stories is the experience of a friend during a family holiday dinner. The noise and confusion at the dinner table was driving him insane, so he made a grounding gesture under the table to calm the energy – and it worked.

Grounding brings you back to the now.

Carrying or wearing a first-chakra stone (see list at the Crystalmaster: link ) can help during the day. Hematite, bloodstone, obsidian, smoky quartz, jet, and garnet are common. I ground my house with a stone welcome mat, my fireplace with a bowl of riverstones.