Over the years, my different therapists have worried when I go through these accident prone periods. They last for a few days, I smash dishes, step on rusty nails (my tetanus shots are always up to date), drive my car into light poles. That kind of thing. Depending on their therapeutic philosophy, it’s my subconscious telling me - something. Slow down. Concentrate. Pay attention. Be physical. Be here.

So damn, this has been a rough few days. I’ve had a horrible pain in my back (only at work, though. We can assume hunching over the laptop computer, or repressed stress. Or both.) After a truly impressive massage (thank you, Meryl), I’m driving home and on a dark country road almost have the worst accident of my life. I’m shaking the rest of the evening, all massage benefits gone. The accidents continue into the next day. I drop an expensive steak into the dog’s water bowl. My lunchtime drink spills all over the car. Leaving the office, I trip over the mat and sprawl painfully on the cobblestones.

Honestly, I don’t know what my subconscious wants from me. I’m not that stressed, been feeling mostly balanced. There’s some nagging financial things and a few projects that should be cleared up and I haven’t found that new job, but overall I’m content.

Bruised and paranoid, I peruse my astrological transits. Sun trine Mars retrograde? Chiron conjunction sun? Saturn square Saturn? All have their dark and light energy. What does my subconscious want from me?

Need to know. Will try meditating on it.